September 11th, We Never Forget

Today is Sep, 11th 2020.

I remember last time when I was young, joined the school trip.

As I recalled, while dining for breakfast saw the Sep 11, tragedy news LIVE. Back then was small don't really felt much. At first sight,

I thought was computer-animated couldn't be real then later aware that the news is real.

Life is short, Unpredictable... People come and Go, Appreciate them before they expired. Today, remind that those people were on the building would never know that morning was their last day on earth.

Revisit the Videos, seeing people rather jump than being burnt, Ashes and smoke filled the air, screams, and shout desperate ask for help.

This year 2020, I have lost many friends and acquaintance they died before their time, I believe in fated destiny, some are around my age, some your just 17,21 sad to see young people, teen, and young adults lost their life.

Final words, no one lives forever. Love them while they are alive. I am grateful to be alive and well will express my appreciation to all my friends and fans (hope they never found my blog).

Bros, memories with you will always in My Heart. I love you very much

Sincerely

Justin. 

Yes I am Back, as said Will be back

Was Hiatus since 2018, my recovery period after that accident/ trauma

In 2020, a challenging year

Glad to be Alive, A lot of younger Bros Have passed away :(

Many things, ups, and downs.

Recently Deciding whether to go Full into  Blogger or WordPress.

Most probably I will start more new projects new blogs in WordPress, As Blogger is since 2009, I have noticed a lot of changes a lot of young friends they passed away, went back their blog noticed some of them disappeared, try to find out why a lot of Blogspot account are gone without a trace.

In the end still, the same question should I further develop my BLOG in BLOGGER or WordPress?

Many Opinions, online could be misleading but roughly one has to test it out.

PS: wishing everyone stay healthy and happy always :)

No Woman No Cry, Disagree

No woman No cry?
No woman, but
I have cried,
Wanna Cry
but no tears
such immense sadness
cannot be express by just tears and tantrum
Deep intense of dissatisfactions.

Regrets have a few,
Fear of future I have none,
Although the future seems unclear
I think worrying won't solve it
It will just make things worst.

Worrying and Fear have no grip from me,
but the some regrets and guilts of the past,
Keep on flashing back.


I have been strong for too long, sometime is okay to cry, but this time that kind of sadness cannot be cried out. My vocabulary, have become " I have should...." " what if " I gotta stop thinking else, overthinking could make me feel depress.

Okay for now I share until here, to be continued.....
I have promised I will write consistently even though it may be short.

Bye 2016

Bye 2016

Welcome 2017!!!

Say good bye to 2016

Looking forward for something new.


Life is not always ups, sometime down....

But think on the brighter side I wish all is well, hope for the best is yet to come.
2017, I will surrender my life to the almighty....
2016, I did it my way ended so bad, landed on wrong side, get hurts and wounds
Hopefully, all will be well again when i realigned the priorities of life.

It has been a rough years in 2016, I have learned many life lessons.



New Job is coming, New opportunity.....
Hope all the best, in 2017 in your life...

Will update more, what is going on and share more of my own personal thoughts and perspectives
Will be more expressive than last year....
Will be more noisy, more frequent post and updates.
Will be updating my blog more frequent
thank you my regular readers for your support.

 

Lesson Learnt

Painful yet memorable Lesson, Life lesson.

I find it therapeutic expressing it in the Blog.

No point whining in Facebook, looking for approval, agreement or likes.

Yes indeed Mother Theresa, is right. Some people enter our life as Blessing, while some enter our life as lesson.

Yet a Painful lesson over the past quarter April, may, June.

I do not wanna Describe it in Details, but it helps me to learn that Human will be human,

Human are realistic, degree of realistic is determine by the degree of their selfishness.

Once a human know what they really want, they are realistic, its the matter of degrees of it.

After today I have decided to be more Realistic person, I will invest more time on myself to make myself more competitive.

Less time will be wasted on wrong people, at wrong places, I will not hesitate

to delete or block contacts.

Do what is necessary to redeem back the lost time. 

In the past alot of time wasted on the wrong people, promised myself will not let anyone waste my time, I will let time DID once after that BYE BYE .

Gotta repick myself up and clear myself from those messed up

Forgiveness is A Choice

It seems that I am not really a forgiving person...
I have said you can only DiD this once.
Many I friendship I have written off, i don't really care much....

Endure it Justin, Just a short while, pain is temporary, glory is forever...
The pain you gone through, the tough situation and the Hard people yo have met
Going through this develop patience, perseverance and endurance.

Have I not prayed to God to removed all these stings, wonder why don't GOD bring me to heaven
the moment I said the sinner's prayer?
Have you wonder why??
Have you ever question about it ?
As time goes by, I realized that we are called , chosen to be the generations that make a difference...
Be the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World.

I chose to Forgive even though it is Hard, I choose to Obey your commandment because I love you
I will keep all your commandments because I love you.
Lord, I have prayed that never let my heart grow cold towards you and others.
There was a time, I was so badly wounded, I have chosen the road of rebellion, Walking a life of hatred, have Harden my heart so that I won't feel hurt when people try to hurt me.
No longer feel angry, sad nor anguish.....
That kind of emotion numbness have transformed me into a person I couldn't  understand,
Slowly the cloud of depression and the fog of fear cover my vision.
Realized the devil strategy to destroy a person, is through separation of between, God , Self and others. One who is not able relate themselves with others , God and even themselves.

Thankfully God have delivered me from these Depression and Fears, HIS perfect love cast out all fears...
Thank you God, your faithfulness never end despite me walk away, you still will woo me back with your everlasting love.
( Continue.....)

Reflection - Year Quarter have passed

It has been awhile, after Chinese New Year I am Lazy to blog, 

Short updates here, 

A lot of things over my mind , my focus are blurred, losing the cutting edge

received a useful advice....

Got to have a laser light focus in the things we do.

We might have alot of talents,limited time so we need to prioritize which talents to develop

turn it into cutting-edge skill.

Focus on your strength that will have competitive edge towards your rival

Finally Destroy what may destroy you, it might be a bad habits or stinking attitude that require change.

A bad attitude is like a Flat tires, you can't go far in Life.

remain humble and steadfast in Love.

Consistency is the Key

Today went through a day of hell

Last week met Manager He told me he will help me reinstate my agent contract, however he didn't 

today I have tried to Login into my company's website but failed then I have contacted my Unit manager, he told me I was terminated.

Last week from our conversation I clearly understood that He promised he will reinstate my account but in terms I need to submit 3 cases.

He have changed, what he have said earlier on changed, he said, " Justin, you are terminated submit 3 cases else i won't reinstate your contract.

I was stoned, My mind freeze i did not ask much, as soon the do session and case followup session end, i quickly left.

Later on i realized is my manager worth trusting?? After I have completed 3 cases will he transfer the all my existing service client back to me? after I have done the goal will he double cross and said I need to 5 more....

Nevertheless, Father I commit all these into your hand, right Now I just do 3 cases, If he do not fulfill his promised I will resigned and join His competitors company, I guess this is the Plan B.

Consistent is the Key in everything, Last year sales did not meet target so i think he have the right to terminate me but I have request for reinstatement, I will be more focus compare to last time.

Last year lesson learnt, too many doubts and fear, procrastination kicks in , all of them seems work in team to paralyze you. As for me i know i am not that consistent enough, once received a rejection from a prospect i need alot of time to get myself back, Before, during and after sales I also have such anxiety, no doubt this job is challenging and rewarding.

Beside that I am not consistent enough in following up skill in customer service, procrastination always kick in because of fear of calling.

Always Curious easily distracted is one of my traits, though everything seems interesting, I may have the curiosity to learn but easily distracted from the straight path. For instance computer games, and various gatherings, unfruitful meeting might have contributed to that.

Bottom line, be consistent in everything you do, Give it all and even when you have failed you will have no regrets. Consistency is start from Habit, start to form positive habit that will build your character and life skills.

As I have Promised..... But Failed

As I have promised Last year and the year before atleast a Blog a Day.
Eventually I have failed, never mind moving on to the changing part.
This is the most exciting part, I have decided to Post less stuff in Facebook, but rather express myself freely in BLOGGER.

Attachment with Facebook it has been an unhealthy one, coming together with its apps in mobile phone, makes it a real distraction. So, I have decided to pull myself away from Facebook, stop nagging and complaining things over there instead I could share my insights in blog, moreover it help me to improve writing skills( another ways to express myself)

Few day ago I have tried to deactivate Facebook, but urge come strongly, It last only a day and Night.
I think i should delete the facebook apps so logging in will be challenging for me.


Social Media is a double edged sword either it could improve your productivity or destructive distraction tools. constant feeds and Alert could really distract you from the main coarse of your schedule.

How to overcome it?
For me I am still overcoming it.....
What I could do I install an apps help me to stay focus for 10 minutes , don't look down on 10 minutes of focus, you could really perform better compare to 50 minutes of multitask.
This Apps call Forest, it is quite cool it help u to stay focus, after completing staying away from phone on the designated time, you will earn a tree. Start as a seed, as time goes by it will slowly grow into tree.

Final say 

Sometime we are so busy of checking people out and we have forgotten to live their life

Live At the Moment, Enjoy Life, Stay away From Facebook(Social media)

Moment of Inspiration, Greater Blessing is coming

Times of refreshing.
Here in your presence
there is no Greater Blessing
than being with you.

This phrase keep on echoing in my heart
The art of thanksgiving is yet to be perfected in my life.
I am still on the long road.

Do you know what is the key to happiness?
Thanksgiving.
I am thankful what I have been gone through the good and bad, that make me of what I am.

Fear.
It is very common, I strike almost everybody just the degree of it might be greater or lessor.
Never afraid of making mistakes. Remind yourself there is no Failure only feedbacks. If you fail rise up again and learnt from mistakes, move on, stop harboring in the pass.

Forgiveness
most people been struggling with releasing forgiveness, the saying of I forgive you is easy but doing gets challenging at most time.
Never the less it take courage to face the offender.

Regrets

Regrets i have a few, today went bodybuilding competitions, aiks missed the photo taking session with my bro, feeling kinda shy, i hesitated to meet him for picture session. Kinda proud of him, never the less i tell myself never cry over spilled milk.

Next time be bold and do it, better making mistakes than regrets for not taking the opportunity when limited time is given.
Cheers.

Plan ahead

I Need to start plan ahead.
Procrastination be removed, fear begone
Prepare for the worst.
Prepare for more challenges.
What is limiting my capabilities is the fears within it is not that I am not talented.
NEW challenges and Enemies are arising....

Reviving The dead blogs

Revive the Dead blog,

Traffics dropping,

Readers leaving.... why

When you stop writing... commenting...... thinking

2012 gonna end soon. Yet I have procrastinate a lot.

Take time and ponder:

Time to take back the turf, defend my time.

Learn to say No.

Spend time with your love ones, they deserve it.

Reconnect back the lost relationship.

Cherish your family members,

Live today as if your last day,Live life to its fullness 

Don't worry be Happy.

Let God, Let go.

Time and tides wait for no man

Heard of Time and tides wait for no man?

Yes, but we never take it to the heart.

Realize that time is short when, things start changing 

Death of a friends or family, awaken us from the slumber.

Feeling of grief causes us to ponder,

Questions of life and its progress keep on playing in my mind.

Friendship will change through time, it doesn't matter how close is the proximity.

trials and testing will prove whether the friendship is worthy.

Heard of what you reap is what you sow,

Or what you sow is what you reap;

Relationship sometime doesn't work that way,

No matter how much love that is pour out.

when It is cherrish, Is like a rose trample on the ground.

Love pour out, unless one who received it will fall on the ground

Thought of the Month

I have been thinking,

I have been reflecting, 

I have been pondering, 

What God have done in my Life, People that I have impact in Campus.

Before this year 2011 end.

Remind me all the things He have done in my life and His Faithfulness keep me going.

There are times I wanna give up. At some point I have some thought of ending my life.

His Love hindered me from making the Huge mistake.

He told me that is grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made perfect in my weakness.(II Corinthians 12:9)

I told myself I am a waste of time, I don't worth your life, I don't worth your time, but you say other wise

I was trying to forge my destiny, I couldn't accept the brokenness and situations that I am in.

I remind myself that what you have done in my life.

I remind myself the moment where I poured out everything to you.

I remind myself a Savior that save me from the pit of Hell

I remind myself a Friend that always be there for me when everyone Neglects me.

I remind myself that I need not to protect myself , I have found a refuge in HIM alone.

My December

This December would be a different December compare to the previous one.

Its a Bittersweet December .

Lots of sweet things happen, as Bitter stuffs abounds

A festive month for all of us.

A lot of invitations from friends , from various church and denominations.

Every week I am invited to a Christmas celebration, I have noticed networks of friends are growing ... 

I am so blessed. I thought i am happy but I wasn't. The joy of Christmas 

I have neglected the one that I've supposed to show love and concern. 

She waited for me; I have disappoint her again and again.

I have promised to come, but I have never showed up , I was so caught up with the events around me :(

Regret.

Never felt that strong remorse before , just a week ago I was talking with my Indian nanny. Knowing that she is not feeling well, I gave her a call wanted to invite her to a " Christian Healing rally". Unfortunately she is immobile and her sons are not really keen to transport her from her house. In our conversation, she told me to visit her when I am free. And I thought I gonna visit her next week, but it turn out to be different, I have attended a wedding instead. She have suffered much from disease and grief that caused by her sons. Her sons have neglected her in many ways. Yes, they do provide a home, but a home without love 

Picture in my Mind.

Picture of my nanny keep playing in my mind, I can only let her live in my memories. I LOVE HER. She is like my second mom. I felt sorry for her, I keep blaming myself and others for her lost. I know what I say or do couldn't bring her back. I miss her so much. From today onward I will promised you, I will treat my parents well when they are old, I will cherish them ,pour out my unconditional love towards them. 

RIP nanny,

Sincerely Love Justin .

I Am Back

It has been some time I am away from my Blog, I think 2-3 weeks...
Time for some update, due to the busyness of my work, I am not able to update it as frequent as I always does.
About just 3 weeks ago I have join Teledirect telecommerce as Recruiter in Human resource department.
At first is quite hard for me to adapt, they do not have the registration access card for me, Log in ID is not yet prepared and the company access card. Things get really hectic until 14th of march where I have everything done. I have met a bunch of wonderful colleagues(recruiters), that are willing to teach me and be patient with me.
About 2days ago I have my Payslip ..... Hooray ..... although is not too much like 2K but It is my first salary, I will honor God with my first fruits. Besides that, I meet a lot of friends in the marketing department, get to hang out with them.
I am so excited what is coming, anticipating the great things that is happening in my life and the life of my family and friends.

Heated Argument-- Long Cooldown

It started a month Ago,

I have an Argument with a friend and A great disagreement towards a group of friend.

Conflict arises all the time, disagreement in ideas, conflicts of culture and Language barriers

Since then I never contact them, No calls , No SmSes , No Facebook messages ..... etc

Basically I need a longer time to cool-down, after a nuclear explosion.

I didn't really express my anger or hurts directly to them.

But I need a break from them before I really go mad.

I still can't face them yet. Have to wait until my wounds are hill and set up my wall of defences before I can meet up with them again.

I really feels threathen when my cell group leader try to check out on me Via blogger and Facebook. I would really appreaciate it if He would spent some time to call me or sms me or ask me out for drink. Never the Less thank to the IP tracker that I have installed into my blog. The stalker have been traced.

Silence Is Golden

Silence is Golden. I heard it many times, but I think this time it really make sense to me.

As the phrase speak to me personally.

Today I saw a post from my friend, she say she is in 'Silent Mode'.

I guess there are times we need to quite down ourselves and think.

We are living in a rapid world, things are changing at fast speed.

I have decided to minimize my status updates in Facebook or deactivate my Facebook if possible.

Looking back the post that I have updated, I will say I have acted out of foolishness. I will Flood my Blogs instead of frequent facebook updates. My Roommate was annoyed by me, the frequent updates in Facebook, moreover he have questioned me about, " why you always appear in my top news when I log in FB". It shall be done, gotta put a fullstop on Facebook before people start stonning my wall.

Dark Tunnel- Light at the end

There will always be a Darkest moment in everyone's Life.
I have just experience it and I have experienced the supernatural breakthrough from the Lord.
The Lord Lifted my spirit when I was oppressed by my circumstances. It makes me depend on Him totally, I grow stronger and understand the Lord and get closer to Him.
In the Darkest moment,
Fear over grip your heart,
Indecisive thought hit your mind,
Overwhelm by worries. accusation fire to you in all direction, who shall you seek refuge, who shall you find comfort, who will understand your situation?
Always remember you will get through to the end of tunnel and you will see light. Fear not The Lord is with you, and He goes before you.
No matter how deep or how dark the path ,God will see us through He will never leave you or forsake you. For if we died with Him, we shall also live with Him.If we are faithless, he will be faithful.
Because God cannot deny himself.  If we endure, we shall also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us;
Even the youth shall faint and be weary,And the Young man shall fall.
But for those who wait upon the Lord , their strength will be renew,They Shall Mount up like eagles, They shall run and not weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31)