My December

This December would be a different December compare to the previous one.

Its a Bittersweet December .

Lots of sweet things happen, as Bitter stuffs abounds

A festive month for all of us.

A lot of invitations from friends , from various church and denominations.

Every week I am invited to a Christmas celebration, I have noticed networks of friends are growing ... 

I am so blessed. I thought i am happy but I wasn't. The joy of Christmas 

I have neglected the one that I've supposed to show love and concern. 

She waited for me; I have disappoint her again and again.

I have promised to come, but I have never showed up , I was so caught up with the events around me :(

Regret.

Never felt that strong remorse before , just a week ago I was talking with my Indian nanny. Knowing that she is not feeling well, I gave her a call wanted to invite her to a " Christian Healing rally". Unfortunately she is immobile and her sons are not really keen to transport her from her house. In our conversation, she told me to visit her when I am free. And I thought I gonna visit her next week, but it turn out to be different, I have attended a wedding instead. She have suffered much from disease and grief that caused by her sons. Her sons have neglected her in many ways. Yes, they do provide a home, but a home without love 

Picture in my Mind.

Picture of my nanny keep playing in my mind, I can only let her live in my memories. I LOVE HER. She is like my second mom. I felt sorry for her, I keep blaming myself and others for her lost. I know what I say or do couldn't bring her back. I miss her so much. From today onward I will promised you, I will treat my parents well when they are old, I will cherish them ,pour out my unconditional love towards them. 

RIP nanny,

Sincerely Love Justin .