No Woman No Cry, Disagree

No woman No cry?
No woman, but
I have cried,
Wanna Cry
but no tears
such immense sadness
cannot be express by just tears and tantrum
Deep intense of dissatisfactions.

Regrets have a few,
Fear of future I have none,
Although the future seems unclear
I think worrying won't solve it
It will just make things worst.

Worrying and Fear have no grip from me,
but the some regrets and guilts of the past,
Keep on flashing back.


I have been strong for too long, sometime is okay to cry, but this time that kind of sadness cannot be cried out. My vocabulary, have become " I have should...." " what if " I gotta stop thinking else, overthinking could make me feel depress.

Okay for now I share until here, to be continued.....
I have promised I will write consistently even though it may be short.

June's Blessing

Be it like or hate
well life still move on...
we can't hate and love together, yet love and hate relationship does exist in a human relationships

Well sorry guys and Girls, I have been away for a long time.
Quick updates:
Recently I have got a job in a local GYM, work as a personal trainer,

Grateful to have a manager that take good care of me, Unfortunately I have an abusive boss,
Verbally abusive, although have a handsome outlook, but when it comes to rage and anger,
He threw it all....
Look horrible when he pout, unleash out all the anger to my manager....
There is something good about him, he just very lenient when it comes to certain stuff,
however too lenient in managing his business, he took his employee for granted.
Salary likewise is little, the full maximum amount of job he demand to work from Monday to Saturday, sad to say i have realized, my Salary as personal coach is lower than the MCD workers, and people who in Starbucks is pay better than me.
Initially, joining this company is my goal to pursue what I am passion about, but in reality unfortunately this passion hardly sustain the lifestyle.

At first i thought of staying and continue my work as personal coach while i could do some part time on weekend to sustain my living cost, but i cannot continue, because there have been times where the boss delay the payment of my salary, the 3rd time tried to delay , I have request an advance payment instead, and then after he have paid me I left the job giving the excuse of further study.

In the midst of my trouble, met Jason, he introduced me to Public Mutual, Met Miss Wei Joo, her story truly inspired me to be a Unit Trust Consultant. Which inspired me to continue in what I am good at Business & Financial Planning. I also plan to take my Financial Paper

Indeed I am Grateful, for the good and bad, the high ad the lo that I have gone through... I believe all things work Good For those who Love HIM (GOD).

with a Grateful Heart,
Your beloved Son,

Lesson Learnt

Lesson Learnt

ouch I know it burns.
First I want to thank you, my ex-boss from Fitcore Fitness
Underpaid salary, long haul of work time from 10am to 12am,
I am paid for peanuts,
The major reason that I left the company because the delay payment of salary,
The Boss told me that usually there is a delay payment of salary caused by the Accountant,
resposibility have pushed aside to the accountant saying normally salary will be out on the 15th of every month.

I felt really angry, as I am expected to come on time for work, I also expect my employer would pay to me on time, unfortunately I felt that he did that intentionally, because for the first 2 month he delay our pay before in april and May,  he said on June onwards salary will be out on the 15th, I cannot accept it I decided to leave the company, Fitcore Fitness. For those who have been checking the company background , this is it , a brief info, this is a new company existed no longer than 3 years.

The thing I have discover while clearing the files, first most of the Ex- employees left , the managers and boss did not gave clear reasons why they left , I have realized the many employees left on the first quarter of the year 2016, probably due to the reasons where the boss he did not pay them well, long haul of working time...

 

 I gave my resignation letter on 3rd July, 2016, I couldn't take it anymore....

After spoken to a Servant of the Lord, she have prayed for me, I have received the boldness, The next day I spoken to my Manager of my resignation.
Initially I have promised to help him until Wednesday, then I have changed my mind, I have decided to state my last dy on Sunday instead, short pain is better than long suffering

Uncertainty

I do not understand this type of feeling, which i am struggling....

Uncertainty of many things was around, especially appointments that i need to meet,

who should you give priority.

Uncertainty the Job, and career path that I am going and thinking would I have enough money to survive

At the moment I felt I am Stuck, but I believe I am In the hand of my creator.

He who hold the stars and moon will not slumber,

He will watch over me, He will be my guide

He take cares everything.

Constantly need to remind myself, 

I am yours, whatever I have is yours, and you are mine.

The scripture Matt 6:33 came across my mind seek ye First the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Meditate the scripture until it sinks into my Heart and Soul.

Till Now I surrender all to you,

keep on enjoy your fellowship and rest in you.


These 2 songs speak to me personally, be bless by those songs

                                               

                                      10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)

                                               

Who Am I (Casting Crown)

Consistency is the Key

Today went through a day of hell

Last week met Manager He told me he will help me reinstate my agent contract, however he didn't 

today I have tried to Login into my company's website but failed then I have contacted my Unit manager, he told me I was terminated.

Last week from our conversation I clearly understood that He promised he will reinstate my account but in terms I need to submit 3 cases.

He have changed, what he have said earlier on changed, he said, " Justin, you are terminated submit 3 cases else i won't reinstate your contract.

I was stoned, My mind freeze i did not ask much, as soon the do session and case followup session end, i quickly left.

Later on i realized is my manager worth trusting?? After I have completed 3 cases will he transfer the all my existing service client back to me? after I have done the goal will he double cross and said I need to 5 more....

Nevertheless, Father I commit all these into your hand, right Now I just do 3 cases, If he do not fulfill his promised I will resigned and join His competitors company, I guess this is the Plan B.

Consistent is the Key in everything, Last year sales did not meet target so i think he have the right to terminate me but I have request for reinstatement, I will be more focus compare to last time.

Last year lesson learnt, too many doubts and fear, procrastination kicks in , all of them seems work in team to paralyze you. As for me i know i am not that consistent enough, once received a rejection from a prospect i need alot of time to get myself back, Before, during and after sales I also have such anxiety, no doubt this job is challenging and rewarding.

Beside that I am not consistent enough in following up skill in customer service, procrastination always kick in because of fear of calling.

Always Curious easily distracted is one of my traits, though everything seems interesting, I may have the curiosity to learn but easily distracted from the straight path. For instance computer games, and various gatherings, unfruitful meeting might have contributed to that.

Bottom line, be consistent in everything you do, Give it all and even when you have failed you will have no regrets. Consistency is start from Habit, start to form positive habit that will build your character and life skills.

The Returned

Today the Mood of Blogging have returned....
A short updates, yesterday night drank a lot of beer, Guinness stout Drank a Bucket all by myself.
ahem not bad right for an Asian, Chinese boy.... It was an emotional night I just fainted on my bed,
Thank God I brought the last bottle to be finish in my room.

Day2
Waking up, feeling great, but uncertainties hits my mind.
Decision to come back hometown or not hits my mind,
Have to schedule my journey back, whom should I meet?
It is hard to make decision if I go back Ipoh must plan my journey whom I should met for prospecting.
For your info, In financial planning business prospecting is important it is our lifeblood.
Perhaps today, I should just rest don't think too much.
Perhaps I worried, for the pass few weeks I was not-organised, poor time management, too relax.
Now it is the time to redeem myself.

From Now On
I have no time to waste, Filter off  Disqualified Prospects.
I have to make a KIV list and Customers listing.
I have to manage my time well, plan appointment a week ahead.
I have to be discipline myself, no more Procrastination.DO it NOW or NEVER.
Dare to call prospects, overcome the FEAR of calling.
As well as overcoming Procrastination.
Some of these are very costly lesson for me, I have lost so many cases because of this.

All the best overcoming this, see myself again in 2016

Ain't Good, Life is Move On

Things are not going well this month of June, Business is going slow.

People I have asked for appointment do not wish to come out, I guess I have to endure with it, persevere and change the approach that I have used to meet them.

The month of July will be the month of redemption, I have got another offer letter from another company,  will be running 2 business simultaneously, both are from the same industry and hope I could gain as much experience with AIG. 

Guy who play musical Instrument are Cool right ? haha not talking about myself 

Goodnews During my down moments, I have reignite my passion

 towards music. 

I went back to college join the music composition societies and Music societies.

So good to be back and reconnect with People who loves music.

These Korean Drama about classical music in Pop culture it is inspiring

Here is the Link for Beethoven Virus for Pals from US 

Don't you agree girls on Violin are Sexy hahaha

Tunnel

Past 3 months, just trap into this hole of depression.
Desperately seeking the way out, but i couldn't, anxious heart weight a man down. 

Fear of futures grip my heart, lacks of security drives me around doing things that condition myself to feel safe. Fears over grips my heart and worries paralysed my mind, everyday seems to be mundane, all i hope is the struggle is over.

Well 4 month have passed, Freedom visited me, i went to Freedom Seminar at Kingdom City Church, during the worship service i felt the touch of God's love, his warm embrace envelope me, like the waves cover the shores.

As been set free from oppression, my heart felt the release but my mind still struggles with racing thoughts, i know God still haven't finnish with me. As many whys start appearing in my mind, i have started to doubts and the fears revisited me again.

It was Wednesday evening, after work i have dilemma of deciding whether to go for company's training or just return home. After consulting my mom i still not convince to make decision, my mind was having lot of what-if" .

A step of faith, 

I took a step of faith just pray and get myself moving to the training venue. While on the way to my company, my self consciousness begin to manifest, begin to project what may happens.  On the journey to my company i took a bus, while i was inside the bus, thinking to distract myself from the overwhelming sensation fear i have plug-on to some of my favourite Christian songs.

"I am no longer slave to fear, I am the child of God." This song moved my heart, God was speaking to me through this songs of deliverance. I wanna express my Thanks to you Father, thank you for delivering from all fears. 

Meditation of those songs have moved my heart, i have made a decision of never look back to the past and Move forward towards the goals he have put in my heart.

I am forever grateful, from that day till now my mind is constantly renew, and I am enjoying the fellowship of the holy spirit

Work...Work... Work !!!!

Time Fly
I have no time to update my Blog
Have been away for some time
In the blink of an Eye, 4 months have past.
I have work 4 month
My contract is ending in september, but I will tender resignation letter in August.
There I shout " Freedom"..... Of course in Malaysia we all shout"Merdeka"

I have learned a lot of things.
Trouble that cause by the supervisors. Both supervisor have been giving me trouble.
Anyway working is fun , able to earn basic salary plus attractive commision.
I have bought a lot things that I cannot afford to buy in previous years.