Backthen, Here and Now

 Hey Friends, 👍

I am back, Always apologize being Hiatus...A lot of things happened, Really Bring me to tears and Old Fears revisited me.

Back to Track Lets hope something better i coming in December, I have to work hard, and smart to get me Out of this situation.

Even, typing my eyes swell with Tears, While typing listen to Emotional Chinese Songs, It helps me to pour out all the emotions.😓

Friends Left, Lost Job, suddenly have to move house, suddenly felt the weight of the world on my shoulder, remember to Ex-bosses I had, those wasted time.😖

Intense Feeling, at that point really i have the thought to End my life, but that call saved my life, Some random call from this Church workers, she asked whether can pray for me. What a relief, Thank God.

Finally understood, that when people kill themselves, they actually don't want to die it is the sudden surge or urge that cause them to have such boldness to stab or jump down from building ...

No worries, I won't do it... Probably need to wait the emotions to settle, listen to emotional song to get the tears start flowing.😥

Alright share until here, Remember to reach out to stranger, understood sometime people we know refuse to listen or they are not ready, I have tried to open then end up more Hurt. I think in future i will drift further and further away from them make friends with people who are like minded, positive, ever-learning attitudes. 

Surround with Positive friends 😀if you do not have now, no worries start reaching our for them... while negative relatives and family members I have say BYE with them, although it hurts but it will HEAL fast.💪😷 

September 11th, We Never Forget

Today is Sep, 11th 2020.

I remember last time when I was young, joined the school trip.

As I recalled, while dining for breakfast saw the Sep 11, tragedy news LIVE. Back then was small don't really felt much. At first sight,

I thought was computer-animated couldn't be real then later aware that the news is real.

Life is short, Unpredictable... People come and Go, Appreciate them before they expired. Today, remind that those people were on the building would never know that morning was their last day on earth.

Revisit the Videos, seeing people rather jump than being burnt, Ashes and smoke filled the air, screams, and shout desperate ask for help.

This year 2020, I have lost many friends and acquaintance they died before their time, I believe in fated destiny, some are around my age, some your just 17,21 sad to see young people, teen, and young adults lost their life.

Final words, no one lives forever. Love them while they are alive. I am grateful to be alive and well will express my appreciation to all my friends and fans (hope they never found my blog).

Bros, memories with you will always in My Heart. I love you very much

Sincerely

Justin. 

She have Changed

Yesterday Sucks I feel like Dying, all the fractions of the past and present intertwine..

Unexplained Sadness keep dwelling for days and weeks

But

No worry I am still strong,

No matter how hard I will never took my own life

everything used to be.....

Now every sentence start with this word

"Used to be..."

People changes whether you can accept it or not,

It is a harsh fact and a lot of truths within.

Whether they grow together or they growth apart.

Well it depends how is the communication.

People grow cold or they grow warmer, this is how friendships grows and Family ties...

Some have blood ties and they thought because they have bloodties they need not to be constantly communicate effectively, which lead to many misunderstanding and even breaking in the family.

People hate each others, People no longer wanna talk to each other.

This is how i felt constant frustration in communication which caused me not to speak at all during this festive season of Chinese New Year.

Didn't stop me anyway, finally I have learnt to shut up and react less, yeah I admit it takes a lot of patience and handwork.

Fear and Anger has it place in me, still along way to go...

Today my Eldest sister have tasted my wrath, I have just scolded her violently with all the harsh words propelled like rockets and Flame

Well this Chinese New Year I have a few resolutions which I have promised myself, not to take things so personal in friendship, let it be for Relationship that I cannot keep, I will not sustain but abstain from it. I have decided long ago, but dare not take action. Let me face every obstacles with boldness.

Dear God, gimme strength and wisdom to overcome all the obstacles, 

6th Feb 2016.... vision embedded,

Friends of Benefits

Today what i wrote I believe everyone will came across this.
Just an experience wanna share,would not want it be buried in the heart.


Friends of benefit
The moment I get the call/ message from them
My mind will tell me the next thing will be,  'Justin I need a favor'
In times of trouble they will find you for refuge,
In good times they will disappear, the cycle will repeat after they get what they want.
I always wanna be there with them whether it is the good time or the bad time.

Lost Friend

The day I never thought is that I have lost my Close friend.
Friendship that meant to me alot.
Perhaps it is because we know each other too close till we have taken each other for granted.
WE used to be very respectful towards each other.... until we know each other to well that he started act in ways as if I owe him.
I have lost many close friend, those real one will sustain to the end.

Never back again

I am leaving Never come back again. Singing Jesse Mc Cartney's song.
Been some time I was away. Updated some stuffs over tumblr instead.
Due to the fact I find it is more user friendly than Blogger. Sorry google being honest.

Yeah!! DECIDED to move out from my previous apartment.

Reviving The dead blogs

Revive the Dead blog,

Traffics dropping,

Readers leaving.... why

When you stop writing... commenting...... thinking

2012 gonna end soon. Yet I have procrastinate a lot.

Take time and ponder:

Time to take back the turf, defend my time.

Learn to say No.

Spend time with your love ones, they deserve it.

Reconnect back the lost relationship.

Cherish your family members,

Live today as if your last day,Live life to its fullness 

Don't worry be Happy.

Let God, Let go.

A day in Fahrenhite mall

A truly awesome, where finally you can catch up with your colleague.
Brief fellowhip, follow by karaeoke at "CEO" session with them.
Blessed to have them as colleague and friends.

Time and tides wait for no man

Heard of Time and tides wait for no man?

Yes, but we never take it to the heart.

Realize that time is short when, things start changing 

Death of a friends or family, awaken us from the slumber.

Feeling of grief causes us to ponder,

Questions of life and its progress keep on playing in my mind.

Friendship will change through time, it doesn't matter how close is the proximity.

trials and testing will prove whether the friendship is worthy.

Heard of what you reap is what you sow,

Or what you sow is what you reap;

Relationship sometime doesn't work that way,

No matter how much love that is pour out.

when It is cherrish, Is like a rose trample on the ground.

Love pour out, unless one who received it will fall on the ground

Double Faced person--Double Phrase person

About a weeks ago,
UTAR CF leaders in Setapak KL, they were promoting KTAR' CF and distributing the "One Love " an Easter outreach.
The UTAR CF leader told their own members to support, and ask me to distribute the flyer's to friends

When the day come, None of the Leaders and The president of UTAR CF turn up. As they promise to turn up. The only guy I saw in the gathering is Joshua. The rest are Liars, Promise breaker, hypocrite , Ego-centric whatever you bad you named them, and how dare they called themselves Christian.

I am quite angry that moment, I hate Liar and promise breaker, they shall never deserve a piece of heaven.
Yeah, In Front of people they are promoting the event and ask us to support, but at the back they say they have assignments, tests and all kinds of excuse that is available to escape. Beside that their lukewarm attitudes really make me wanna give everyone of them a punch in order to bring them back into reality.(If It really works)
I am looking forward to see this thing to happen in this coming CF camp organised by Kampar campus UTAR CF, the Setapak campus committees will repeat their action. I doubt about everything they have said and promised.
As you all know in the past they pull of from the camp in 2009, the Setapak Organisers just left it to Kampar CF.

Just pray that they will be enlightened by the light of CHRIST. Just a few weeks a UTAR CF setapak campus committee in setapak make announcement of the coming Camp in Gopeng, then I ask HIM " Will you attend the camp, as you are promoting it ? Then he say he can come, later on he told me " In time to come let see how it goes", that means there are probability he will be a shirker......


Enough Enough of this ..... this will be the Last time I comment about them.
No offence for those who(UTAR Setapak CF) , this the fact based on the actual time and report.

Friend Are God's Gift

I thank You Lord for the Friends that he gave me .
Laughter and the joy that they Bring.
Friends are there to support you when you need to share your pain.
They encourages me a lot, by verbal and by  their action.
I thank God for the Best Friend He gave me,
I thank Jesus for answering my prayer, giving me the best friend and the right friends that I have been Asking.
I have hope that things will turn around to be better, after the storm wreck.
I will not be fear again knowing that Christ is in control of everything that is happening in my life.
 There always be a sunshine after a heavy downpour.
With Childlike faith, I believe Lots of good things are coming forth in this Season.