Backthen, Here and Now

 Hey Friends, 👍

I am back, Always apologize being Hiatus...A lot of things happened, Really Bring me to tears and Old Fears revisited me.

Back to Track Lets hope something better i coming in December, I have to work hard, and smart to get me Out of this situation.

Even, typing my eyes swell with Tears, While typing listen to Emotional Chinese Songs, It helps me to pour out all the emotions.😓

Friends Left, Lost Job, suddenly have to move house, suddenly felt the weight of the world on my shoulder, remember to Ex-bosses I had, those wasted time.😖

Intense Feeling, at that point really i have the thought to End my life, but that call saved my life, Some random call from this Church workers, she asked whether can pray for me. What a relief, Thank God.

Finally understood, that when people kill themselves, they actually don't want to die it is the sudden surge or urge that cause them to have such boldness to stab or jump down from building ...

No worries, I won't do it... Probably need to wait the emotions to settle, listen to emotional song to get the tears start flowing.😥

Alright share until here, Remember to reach out to stranger, understood sometime people we know refuse to listen or they are not ready, I have tried to open then end up more Hurt. I think in future i will drift further and further away from them make friends with people who are like minded, positive, ever-learning attitudes. 

Surround with Positive friends 😀if you do not have now, no worries start reaching our for them... while negative relatives and family members I have say BYE with them, although it hurts but it will HEAL fast.💪😷 

September 11th, We Never Forget

Today is Sep, 11th 2020.

I remember last time when I was young, joined the school trip.

As I recalled, while dining for breakfast saw the Sep 11, tragedy news LIVE. Back then was small don't really felt much. At first sight,

I thought was computer-animated couldn't be real then later aware that the news is real.

Life is short, Unpredictable... People come and Go, Appreciate them before they expired. Today, remind that those people were on the building would never know that morning was their last day on earth.

Revisit the Videos, seeing people rather jump than being burnt, Ashes and smoke filled the air, screams, and shout desperate ask for help.

This year 2020, I have lost many friends and acquaintance they died before their time, I believe in fated destiny, some are around my age, some your just 17,21 sad to see young people, teen, and young adults lost their life.

Final words, no one lives forever. Love them while they are alive. I am grateful to be alive and well will express my appreciation to all my friends and fans (hope they never found my blog).

Bros, memories with you will always in My Heart. I love you very much

Sincerely

Justin. 

Yes I am Back, as said Will be back

Was Hiatus since 2018, my recovery period after that accident/ trauma

In 2020, a challenging year

Glad to be Alive, A lot of younger Bros Have passed away :(

Many things, ups, and downs.

Recently Deciding whether to go Full into  Blogger or WordPress.

Most probably I will start more new projects new blogs in WordPress, As Blogger is since 2009, I have noticed a lot of changes a lot of young friends they passed away, went back their blog noticed some of them disappeared, try to find out why a lot of Blogspot account are gone without a trace.

In the end still, the same question should I further develop my BLOG in BLOGGER or WordPress?

Many Opinions, online could be misleading but roughly one has to test it out.

PS: wishing everyone stay healthy and happy always :)

Writing Content

Writing contents
cannot say it is hard neither easy.
Everyone can write contents, whether the contents are attractive or not
It is the another story.
Trust me not easy to find your own style and match with the audience's preference












Tips

I have learned,
Need to be straight forward,
things written must straightforward,
Brief not too lengthy.
Simple yet not boring
Interesting yet not too much infos (information overloaded)
Easily read yet not too dulled.


These are tips I have learned, Simple yet sweet
Any comments and Feedback feel free to give me, God Bless =)

Be an Overcomer

Today is the today you have made I will rejoice and glad in it
.
Challenges face today all have been overcome.

First you have overcome your fear of making decision, on deciding which fund should I allocate for clients, fearing that I would make mistakes, I guess it progress along the way.

Well life is full of challenges,
Always have the mindset of I will go through it regardless of what.

Fallacy number 1, people always think that they are really ready then only take actions,
the fact that one is ready through the readiness of mind.

Always have the mindset I am ready to face anything, whatever will be will be....
Do not worry of the result being less desired or not so perfect. Perfectionism
is another rock thbat gonna hinder you from even start thinking, planning and executing it.
Defeating mindset will echo in your mind.

Today's lesson I learn to " Just Do it " try your best, it won't fall short too far from the set goal, so long you have done your best even though it is not 100%,  there is no Regrets.

Bye 2016

Bye 2016

Welcome 2017!!!

Say good bye to 2016

Looking forward for something new.


Life is not always ups, sometime down....

But think on the brighter side I wish all is well, hope for the best is yet to come.
2017, I will surrender my life to the almighty....
2016, I did it my way ended so bad, landed on wrong side, get hurts and wounds
Hopefully, all will be well again when i realigned the priorities of life.

It has been a rough years in 2016, I have learned many life lessons.



New Job is coming, New opportunity.....
Hope all the best, in 2017 in your life...

Will update more, what is going on and share more of my own personal thoughts and perspectives
Will be more expressive than last year....
Will be more noisy, more frequent post and updates.
Will be updating my blog more frequent
thank you my regular readers for your support.

 

Happiness is Simple

Happiness is simple,

It could be sharing foods with people we love.

It could be sharing our most inner part 

For me Happiness is easy

Happiness having enough food,

A place to rest my head,

A bunch of positive supportive friends that you could call them

brother and sister in Christ.

A throwback that day I bought this affordable food, Rojak

Rojak, is the local Mixed tropical fruits with special sweet and spicy dressing.

If Oversea friend drop by Malaysia they must try this Malaysian Food.

Guess how much I paid for this Food?

It cost about RM5.50 portion is quite large, with alot of sauce

This Rojak hawker , he usually start selling from lunch break until 6pm.

His store is situated nearby Genting Kelang, Wet Market.

Feel free to drop Comments, recommendations or any Inquiries....

I will reply when available =) 

Thanks for reading

Choose to Leave or Stay

Am I going to delete those negative people and stop their influence over my life?
Choice is yours, to change or remain...
Well i choose to change, despite of my situation what could i do?
Not to react any dramas causes by them but remain calm at all time stay away from them as far as possible.

Who is the them ?
Those negative people.
Have you ever came across some people who come to you with only complains but when you have understand what they are going through and presented solutions to them, they ignored and continue to complains the situations they are going through.
Telling you, you never understood until you gone through thinking their problems are so unique they are the only person in the world is suffering it.

Self-pity fellas, such a pathetic being, he know what he is going through but refuse to take actions,
have everyone on the list to be blame except himself.
Everyday dialogs are "poor me "
Talking to them drains much of my Mana  ( energy).
I have plan my way out , stay away from them before they demotivate me and bring me along with them to the pit of hell.

I am jovial person, I may have alot of optimistic energy but it will be drained out speaking with self-pity...
Day after day they will come to you the same complains, fucked just get a life.
Sometime I think why don't you change if you are unhappy with your current situations, instead of complain.

New Season of Life

Happy =)
A short updates, what is my life's on going ....
Ushering the New Season of Life is coming, gotta keep calm, but I am super exciting about it.
Alot of prayers and preparation for that ....

Recently received some calls and attended a few interviews.

Hope that I will able to get in Marcus Evan company, so far the best interview I ever had,
I have a meaningful chat with the manager, if I am successful will make it to next round.

Lot of experience gained through meeting alot of seniors in the business arena.
Heart is full of gratefulness, hope i will have a great start.

Unhappy. Insomnia. Sleeplessness

Today I have just finish all my work, somehow finished sorting out my stuff and it is already 2am.

Just now I feel sleepy but after while sorting old files, saw some old profile reminded me Unhappy events in the past, back then I was innocent easily cheated and bullied.

How I wish back then I was smart full of wisdom and able to evade most of those attacks.
Unfortunately life don't work that way, we have to go through this experience, Life lesson then forever it will registered in my mind.

Realised, when one is unhappy it is hard to fell asleep ......
I don't know why, I do not wanna close my eyes just wanna stay awake keep my mind occupy with productive thoughts and keep my hand workings.

I need help,
Slowly I am into darkness...
Cloud of depression coming,
Suicidal thoughts ( yes, I have plenty of those but I delay It)
I have planned to Commit suicide at certain age, mayb around 35 years old, so I am young forever =)
After death then no need bother by those endless thoughts.
Not a bad idea, dying young.

XOXO
keep it secret over here.

Sleepless NIght

Well another Sleepless night.

As night comes people's mind are more active, according to a psychology journal that I have read.
Is it True?

Well I think it is true, according to the journal usual day we are so distracted by lot of stuffs , (need to be done)

As night arise,  we our to do list shorten, and our mind start thinking about past, present and future.
For me I took coffee, and my mind is still very sharp although the body is tired but the mind is spinning fast.

Learn to live at the moment, and do not let the worry of tomorrows nor regret of yesterday robs you of today's blessings. LIVE NOW, have to constantly remind myself.

For now
Goodnight
Nature's calling to bed.

Lesson Learnt

Lesson Learnt

ouch I know it burns.
First I want to thank you, my ex-boss from Fitcore Fitness
Underpaid salary, long haul of work time from 10am to 12am,
I am paid for peanuts,
The major reason that I left the company because the delay payment of salary,
The Boss told me that usually there is a delay payment of salary caused by the Accountant,
resposibility have pushed aside to the accountant saying normally salary will be out on the 15th of every month.

I felt really angry, as I am expected to come on time for work, I also expect my employer would pay to me on time, unfortunately I felt that he did that intentionally, because for the first 2 month he delay our pay before in april and May,  he said on June onwards salary will be out on the 15th, I cannot accept it I decided to leave the company, Fitcore Fitness. For those who have been checking the company background , this is it , a brief info, this is a new company existed no longer than 3 years.

The thing I have discover while clearing the files, first most of the Ex- employees left , the managers and boss did not gave clear reasons why they left , I have realized the many employees left on the first quarter of the year 2016, probably due to the reasons where the boss he did not pay them well, long haul of working time...

 

 I gave my resignation letter on 3rd July, 2016, I couldn't take it anymore....

After spoken to a Servant of the Lord, she have prayed for me, I have received the boldness, The next day I spoken to my Manager of my resignation.
Initially I have promised to help him until Wednesday, then I have changed my mind, I have decided to state my last dy on Sunday instead, short pain is better than long suffering

Are you Lost

Are you lost?
Lost in the wilderness?
Lost in the big Cities?
Concrete jungle....Surrounded with people yet Still feel lonely.
Ironically people who with a group of people, feel more lonely that people who are alone.
Funny think one can enjoy their time alone with themselves without being alone.

I have experienced this season of my life before,
Would like to share it next time in details,
those lifehacks tips I have found it useful.
Will share to you all in next round

Reflection - Year Quarter have passed

It has been awhile, after Chinese New Year I am Lazy to blog, 

Short updates here, 

A lot of things over my mind , my focus are blurred, losing the cutting edge

received a useful advice....

Got to have a laser light focus in the things we do.

We might have alot of talents,limited time so we need to prioritize which talents to develop

turn it into cutting-edge skill.

Focus on your strength that will have competitive edge towards your rival

Finally Destroy what may destroy you, it might be a bad habits or stinking attitude that require change.

A bad attitude is like a Flat tires, you can't go far in Life.

remain humble and steadfast in Love.

She have Changed

Yesterday Sucks I feel like Dying, all the fractions of the past and present intertwine..

Unexplained Sadness keep dwelling for days and weeks

But

No worry I am still strong,

No matter how hard I will never took my own life

everything used to be.....

Now every sentence start with this word

"Used to be..."

People changes whether you can accept it or not,

It is a harsh fact and a lot of truths within.

Whether they grow together or they growth apart.

Well it depends how is the communication.

People grow cold or they grow warmer, this is how friendships grows and Family ties...

Some have blood ties and they thought because they have bloodties they need not to be constantly communicate effectively, which lead to many misunderstanding and even breaking in the family.

People hate each others, People no longer wanna talk to each other.

This is how i felt constant frustration in communication which caused me not to speak at all during this festive season of Chinese New Year.

Didn't stop me anyway, finally I have learnt to shut up and react less, yeah I admit it takes a lot of patience and handwork.

Fear and Anger has it place in me, still along way to go...

Today my Eldest sister have tasted my wrath, I have just scolded her violently with all the harsh words propelled like rockets and Flame

Well this Chinese New Year I have a few resolutions which I have promised myself, not to take things so personal in friendship, let it be for Relationship that I cannot keep, I will not sustain but abstain from it. I have decided long ago, but dare not take action. Let me face every obstacles with boldness.

Dear God, gimme strength and wisdom to overcome all the obstacles, 

6th Feb 2016.... vision embedded,

Uncertainty

I do not understand this type of feeling, which i am struggling....

Uncertainty of many things was around, especially appointments that i need to meet,

who should you give priority.

Uncertainty the Job, and career path that I am going and thinking would I have enough money to survive

At the moment I felt I am Stuck, but I believe I am In the hand of my creator.

He who hold the stars and moon will not slumber,

He will watch over me, He will be my guide

He take cares everything.

Constantly need to remind myself, 

I am yours, whatever I have is yours, and you are mine.

The scripture Matt 6:33 came across my mind seek ye First the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Meditate the scripture until it sinks into my Heart and Soul.

Till Now I surrender all to you,

keep on enjoy your fellowship and rest in you.


These 2 songs speak to me personally, be bless by those songs

                                               

                                      10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)

                                               

Who Am I (Casting Crown)

Consistency is the Key

Today went through a day of hell

Last week met Manager He told me he will help me reinstate my agent contract, however he didn't 

today I have tried to Login into my company's website but failed then I have contacted my Unit manager, he told me I was terminated.

Last week from our conversation I clearly understood that He promised he will reinstate my account but in terms I need to submit 3 cases.

He have changed, what he have said earlier on changed, he said, " Justin, you are terminated submit 3 cases else i won't reinstate your contract.

I was stoned, My mind freeze i did not ask much, as soon the do session and case followup session end, i quickly left.

Later on i realized is my manager worth trusting?? After I have completed 3 cases will he transfer the all my existing service client back to me? after I have done the goal will he double cross and said I need to 5 more....

Nevertheless, Father I commit all these into your hand, right Now I just do 3 cases, If he do not fulfill his promised I will resigned and join His competitors company, I guess this is the Plan B.

Consistent is the Key in everything, Last year sales did not meet target so i think he have the right to terminate me but I have request for reinstatement, I will be more focus compare to last time.

Last year lesson learnt, too many doubts and fear, procrastination kicks in , all of them seems work in team to paralyze you. As for me i know i am not that consistent enough, once received a rejection from a prospect i need alot of time to get myself back, Before, during and after sales I also have such anxiety, no doubt this job is challenging and rewarding.

Beside that I am not consistent enough in following up skill in customer service, procrastination always kick in because of fear of calling.

Always Curious easily distracted is one of my traits, though everything seems interesting, I may have the curiosity to learn but easily distracted from the straight path. For instance computer games, and various gatherings, unfruitful meeting might have contributed to that.

Bottom line, be consistent in everything you do, Give it all and even when you have failed you will have no regrets. Consistency is start from Habit, start to form positive habit that will build your character and life skills.

Discovering your Passion in Writing

                                     
                                            "Finally Know what are the things I like to do.
                                         There are many things I wish to do but I didn't do."

As beginner you can see from my various post, still in the process of discovering myself.... what I really want to do, Although i have pretty much ideas.
Instead of siting there thinking and do nothing, I have decided " JUST DO IT" anyway.
Looking back my blog wasn't that user friendly, language wasn't that good and didn't really express myself well. I am happy what I am today atleast I am dare to type anything that would came across

my mind

As Quotes before the longest journey start with a Single steps. So I started my journey in 2010.

With join effort, some of the friends of mine the started well, but at time goes by they have nothing to write and share, thanks to Facebook.

I have realized writing blogs, short article is therapeutic.It is a time when One start to speak with themselves, think deeply, and express themselves through writing. As human beings I believe we all seek to be heard, impossible we express everything verbally to the same person we trust. The person probably be annoyed.

This Season I am going to do something very different, I would blog about photography, Cooking recipe, besides the shades of Life, Of course some Lifehack tips, various short stories, testimonies, family. Blogging

Final word, Guys and Girls out never afraid of mistakes, go ahead make some, learn from it, and try again until you learn from it. "Remember Only FEEDBACKS no Mistakes" . As long there is A lesson behind each mistakes. Keep trying to discover what U like and dislike. "Spent time with yourself" and Start blogging.

Who is MotherGod?

I am Sure most of you have heard being approach by  a 2 or 3 people asking you do a survey.
Am I right?
They say they are doing religious culture and study?
After doing the survey they will prompt you to mother God's existence and they will try to baptize you with water in order to secure your "salvation".

Recently I believe many of you all have done the survey, I am referring people who live in Kuala Lumpur, Setapak ( place where alot of college and university student stays).

So People be vigilant, they are targeting Christian, If you are christian who do not know the bible well, i would suggest that you leave them alone when they approach you, cause they gonna disrupt the very foundations of your believe and turn you into their mindless slave, using fear and condemnation to get your obedience.
I do not wish too go in details but I will include some Links from here you can try to click on it

For more details you have to Wikipedia, go to the link below(Sources).

MOTHER GOD 

Links stated in Christian Apologetic

http://www.experiencingwmscog.com/2014/10/17/according-to-the-korean-cult-experts-the-world-mission-society-church-of-god-is-a-cult/

Searching MYSELF

As young writer
the constant struggle finding one's identity as a writer
Feel free to drop me Comments and Feedback.
I will work on the improvement after all I am Learning =)

If God is willing I wanna try to earn a living as a Writer.
Always like to try something New.
The most common ways to describe me
" Always Curious to learn, easily distracted"

I will Give you all the best, Sharing From Life experience and Insights.
Writing give me ways to express myself, since coming out from depression, Never wanna go back to that place anymore, will share more victory over defeated mindsets

Sincerely Justin