Backthen, Here and Now

 Hey Friends, 👍

I am back, Always apologize being Hiatus...A lot of things happened, Really Bring me to tears and Old Fears revisited me.

Back to Track Lets hope something better i coming in December, I have to work hard, and smart to get me Out of this situation.

Even, typing my eyes swell with Tears, While typing listen to Emotional Chinese Songs, It helps me to pour out all the emotions.😓

Friends Left, Lost Job, suddenly have to move house, suddenly felt the weight of the world on my shoulder, remember to Ex-bosses I had, those wasted time.😖

Intense Feeling, at that point really i have the thought to End my life, but that call saved my life, Some random call from this Church workers, she asked whether can pray for me. What a relief, Thank God.

Finally understood, that when people kill themselves, they actually don't want to die it is the sudden surge or urge that cause them to have such boldness to stab or jump down from building ...

No worries, I won't do it... Probably need to wait the emotions to settle, listen to emotional song to get the tears start flowing.😥

Alright share until here, Remember to reach out to stranger, understood sometime people we know refuse to listen or they are not ready, I have tried to open then end up more Hurt. I think in future i will drift further and further away from them make friends with people who are like minded, positive, ever-learning attitudes. 

Surround with Positive friends 😀if you do not have now, no worries start reaching our for them... while negative relatives and family members I have say BYE with them, although it hurts but it will HEAL fast.💪😷 

Yes I am Back, as said Will be back

Was Hiatus since 2018, my recovery period after that accident/ trauma

In 2020, a challenging year

Glad to be Alive, A lot of younger Bros Have passed away :(

Many things, ups, and downs.

Recently Deciding whether to go Full into  Blogger or WordPress.

Most probably I will start more new projects new blogs in WordPress, As Blogger is since 2009, I have noticed a lot of changes a lot of young friends they passed away, went back their blog noticed some of them disappeared, try to find out why a lot of Blogspot account are gone without a trace.

In the end still, the same question should I further develop my BLOG in BLOGGER or WordPress?

Many Opinions, online could be misleading but roughly one has to test it out.

PS: wishing everyone stay healthy and happy always :)

Be an Overcomer

Today is the today you have made I will rejoice and glad in it
.
Challenges face today all have been overcome.

First you have overcome your fear of making decision, on deciding which fund should I allocate for clients, fearing that I would make mistakes, I guess it progress along the way.

Well life is full of challenges,
Always have the mindset of I will go through it regardless of what.

Fallacy number 1, people always think that they are really ready then only take actions,
the fact that one is ready through the readiness of mind.

Always have the mindset I am ready to face anything, whatever will be will be....
Do not worry of the result being less desired or not so perfect. Perfectionism
is another rock thbat gonna hinder you from even start thinking, planning and executing it.
Defeating mindset will echo in your mind.

Today's lesson I learn to " Just Do it " try your best, it won't fall short too far from the set goal, so long you have done your best even though it is not 100%,  there is no Regrets.

Fabulous February 2017

Been Gone for 3 months since transition from 2016 to 2017

Ups and Downs we are so used to it, we call it life.

My S6 edge passed away on January, this picture is snapped before my phone motherboard was burned

A little short updates, whee I have started my work as Unit trust consultant and part time grab car driver.

Don't know since when I have the phobia of driving passenger, but if today Grab have an incentives I might Drive straight 6 trips per day, or more trips I will go further for those incentives.

I will try to update more Blogs form time to time....

Blogger no doubt still the best place for me to share my thoughts, ideas with friends around the globe.

A lot of words have written on my hard copy journals so I guess, I will just type a few lines just to express my joy,

The

New Life.

New Life, as I have left the Gym job, personal Coach. I find it more fulfilling, 

Now, Helping people to plan for their retirement, children education plan.

Thank God, for being faithful guiding me, I hope i will achieve my one million sales target.

Thanksgiving

Give Thanks Songs keep on echoing in my heart
Although this year has been tough year.
by HIS grace I have overcome a lot of trials and testings
well, I am still alive

Really Grateful and contented with that, as long you are living
you have the power to change your circumstances.

Grateful I am Alive to fix all those junks in my life,
Life don't give me second chance but you gave me life, future, and  hope....

Too many things to mention about your greatness, faithfulness in keeping and helping me through.

In summary, give thanks all the blessings e have given me, counts your blessings and you will realised a lot of thing worth give thanks for.

Revisiting the past

Remembering the Past, This was Hill Citi College, A college nearby my House.

Most of my homegrown friend attended this college and graduated from it, what they never expected 

is this college, Wind up.

Alot of my friends are puzzled, some changed career some retake their syllabus in another Local university.

Last time remember My mom did nagged me, telling me why didn't I join this college it was affordable and near my house.

Thank God, I have made my decisions did not based on others judgments nor opinions.

I stood firm on the college that I have selected.

Until Now it still exist TUNKU ABDUL RAHMAN COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY.

Hope all the best is yet to come, now in the midst of attending interviews.

NOVEMBER be nice to me 

Don't Give Up

Throwback what Happened Last week....
Went for Interview at Fuji Xerox,
Got the feeling I have done well and Screwed the interview at the sametime. Hard to explain it is kind of mixed feelings, anyway I don't wish to worry about that.
Don't care what are the outcomes, gotta continue apply for Jobs...
This transitions of job is not easy, but i will persevere and consistently apply for jobs

Don't Give Up, as long you don't Give up there still be chance...
Eventually you will made it.
If you gave up in the half way, you won't see yourself through.

I want to encourage all, No matter how hard life throws at you, don't give up continue to fight you will see yourself through.

So far I have attended alot of interviews just don't know when they will call me for next appointment. but I cannot just sit there and wait for them, while waiting I am doing some parttime.... and multiple applications sent. Goodnews will be coming through.....
Will update on my next post  :)

Happiness is Simple

Happiness is simple,

It could be sharing foods with people we love.

It could be sharing our most inner part 

For me Happiness is easy

Happiness having enough food,

A place to rest my head,

A bunch of positive supportive friends that you could call them

brother and sister in Christ.

A throwback that day I bought this affordable food, Rojak

Rojak, is the local Mixed tropical fruits with special sweet and spicy dressing.

If Oversea friend drop by Malaysia they must try this Malaysian Food.

Guess how much I paid for this Food?

It cost about RM5.50 portion is quite large, with alot of sauce

This Rojak hawker , he usually start selling from lunch break until 6pm.

His store is situated nearby Genting Kelang, Wet Market.

Feel free to drop Comments, recommendations or any Inquiries....

I will reply when available =) 

Thanks for reading

Loneliness Versus Solitude

Language… has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone

What you think about Loneliness and solitude? Could you tell the difference?

Feel free to drop your comments below...

Loneliness will Kill?

Loneliness will kill?

I would say yes and No.

Probably depends how One allocate their time

Get into doing interesting self development stuffs,

would help them to get over the feeling of Self pity, loneliness...

As long one gets their hands dirty and busy they will not have time to think about

oh I am the most lonely person in the Planet.

This is how I get along with it.

Most of my time I spent on myself,

Time alone with myself, yes..... Does't mean I am perfect

I don't feel lonely, At times I feel really lonely but 

these are the stuffs I normally do.

I get myself occupied at the gym( exercise), some nights will have night at the streets or park.

Tried some favorite cooking recipe saw online, 

Set goals and small steps archiving it, 

Daily journal writings get my thoughts under control.

Pray, talk to God, I find it more therapeutic than talking to human, hahah doesn't mean I don't talk to People, be selective talk to people who are willing to listen. 

Get involved in community work, get to know people who have the same vision...

Recently I get involve in church stuffs, serving as Pianist for the church.... NO idea how will it go for long term just get myself occupied...

So these are some of the ways how I curb with loneliness, beside constant grouping activities

Time alone, helps you reflects and recap what have happened, I found that I think more when alone compare to group, It helps personal development.

Feel free to drop me comments tell me how you curb with loneliness? 

Short Updates

Short Updates

Nothing much or less i have expect in Life?
Except to be Happy.
There are times I hope that shouldn't be born.

Why I am born in this Family ?
Most of the time I have questioned my existence
Sad.
Am I Proud to be the member of their family? No


Born in a Family full of strive.
I believe Most people are not Proud of their Dad. Am I... NO, not proud of my Dad
Most of the children do not have good relationship with dad.
I used to have hope looking forward for father's love care and support...
Until the day that was hurt so badly, I told myself enough is enough ...
I do not want to get hurt anymore, that was the last phrase I told him
I would not talk to him until his death.
Even till his death I don't feel remorse nor regret.
It is Him who taken me for granted not me.
Always I am the one who is reaching out until I get tired and sick of those attitude.
I believe LOVE toward him has grow cold.

Now, Is my Mom's turn, felt like thing not going better......

Hope as time goes by everything will tilt to the positive side

Confession of a HeartBroken

It sucks,

Even the person closest to you misunderstand you,

No matter how eager you to explains,

It is true what hurts the most are those that are close.

the misunderstanding keep on snow balling,

People do get tired, I am tired of this Relationship

I tell myself it is Over.

Game Over.

I am leaving, leaving you lonely.

Hardening my Heart 

so I would not be feeling any pains

some pain are worth taking, some are just a waste of time if we keep holding on.

Should I hold on or Give up?

Worth going through the pain again?

Honesty

this is lacking between us.

Whenever an question is asked, you will reply we with another questions.

For my part, I am holding myself ...

Why it is so hard for people to be honest.

Many Are Curious about what is happening

Only Few are truly care.

well I guess this is just reality of Life

I was hit Hard,

Now my life FUCKED

Pretty Fucked

I have wasted the whole year of 2016.

Choose to Leave or Stay

Am I going to delete those negative people and stop their influence over my life?
Choice is yours, to change or remain...
Well i choose to change, despite of my situation what could i do?
Not to react any dramas causes by them but remain calm at all time stay away from them as far as possible.

Who is the them ?
Those negative people.
Have you ever came across some people who come to you with only complains but when you have understand what they are going through and presented solutions to them, they ignored and continue to complains the situations they are going through.
Telling you, you never understood until you gone through thinking their problems are so unique they are the only person in the world is suffering it.

Self-pity fellas, such a pathetic being, he know what he is going through but refuse to take actions,
have everyone on the list to be blame except himself.
Everyday dialogs are "poor me "
Talking to them drains much of my Mana  ( energy).
I have plan my way out , stay away from them before they demotivate me and bring me along with them to the pit of hell.

I am jovial person, I may have alot of optimistic energy but it will be drained out speaking with self-pity...
Day after day they will come to you the same complains, fucked just get a life.
Sometime I think why don't you change if you are unhappy with your current situations, instead of complain.

26 crazy pictures of micro-apartments around the world - Page 27 of 27 - Business Insider

26 crazy pictures of micro-apartments around the world - Page 27 of 27 - Business Insider



I am grateful i have a house that is comfortable...

If one day i have to live in a cage i might commit suicide

New Season of Life

Happy =)
A short updates, what is my life's on going ....
Ushering the New Season of Life is coming, gotta keep calm, but I am super exciting about it.
Alot of prayers and preparation for that ....

Recently received some calls and attended a few interviews.

Hope that I will able to get in Marcus Evan company, so far the best interview I ever had,
I have a meaningful chat with the manager, if I am successful will make it to next round.

Lot of experience gained through meeting alot of seniors in the business arena.
Heart is full of gratefulness, hope i will have a great start.

Unhappy. Insomnia. Sleeplessness

Today I have just finish all my work, somehow finished sorting out my stuff and it is already 2am.

Just now I feel sleepy but after while sorting old files, saw some old profile reminded me Unhappy events in the past, back then I was innocent easily cheated and bullied.

How I wish back then I was smart full of wisdom and able to evade most of those attacks.
Unfortunately life don't work that way, we have to go through this experience, Life lesson then forever it will registered in my mind.

Realised, when one is unhappy it is hard to fell asleep ......
I don't know why, I do not wanna close my eyes just wanna stay awake keep my mind occupy with productive thoughts and keep my hand workings.

I need help,
Slowly I am into darkness...
Cloud of depression coming,
Suicidal thoughts ( yes, I have plenty of those but I delay It)
I have planned to Commit suicide at certain age, mayb around 35 years old, so I am young forever =)
After death then no need bother by those endless thoughts.
Not a bad idea, dying young.

XOXO
keep it secret over here.

Lesson Learnt

Painful yet memorable Lesson, Life lesson.

I find it therapeutic expressing it in the Blog.

No point whining in Facebook, looking for approval, agreement or likes.

Yes indeed Mother Theresa, is right. Some people enter our life as Blessing, while some enter our life as lesson.

Yet a Painful lesson over the past quarter April, may, June.

I do not wanna Describe it in Details, but it helps me to learn that Human will be human,

Human are realistic, degree of realistic is determine by the degree of their selfishness.

Once a human know what they really want, they are realistic, its the matter of degrees of it.

After today I have decided to be more Realistic person, I will invest more time on myself to make myself more competitive.

Less time will be wasted on wrong people, at wrong places, I will not hesitate

to delete or block contacts.

Do what is necessary to redeem back the lost time. 

In the past alot of time wasted on the wrong people, promised myself will not let anyone waste my time, I will let time DID once after that BYE BYE .

Gotta repick myself up and clear myself from those messed up

Sleepless NIght

Well another Sleepless night.

As night comes people's mind are more active, according to a psychology journal that I have read.
Is it True?

Well I think it is true, according to the journal usual day we are so distracted by lot of stuffs , (need to be done)

As night arise,  we our to do list shorten, and our mind start thinking about past, present and future.
For me I took coffee, and my mind is still very sharp although the body is tired but the mind is spinning fast.

Learn to live at the moment, and do not let the worry of tomorrows nor regret of yesterday robs you of today's blessings. LIVE NOW, have to constantly remind myself.

For now
Goodnight
Nature's calling to bed.

Forgiveness is A Choice

It seems that I am not really a forgiving person...
I have said you can only DiD this once.
Many I friendship I have written off, i don't really care much....

Endure it Justin, Just a short while, pain is temporary, glory is forever...
The pain you gone through, the tough situation and the Hard people yo have met
Going through this develop patience, perseverance and endurance.

Have I not prayed to God to removed all these stings, wonder why don't GOD bring me to heaven
the moment I said the sinner's prayer?
Have you wonder why??
Have you ever question about it ?
As time goes by, I realized that we are called , chosen to be the generations that make a difference...
Be the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World.

I chose to Forgive even though it is Hard, I choose to Obey your commandment because I love you
I will keep all your commandments because I love you.
Lord, I have prayed that never let my heart grow cold towards you and others.
There was a time, I was so badly wounded, I have chosen the road of rebellion, Walking a life of hatred, have Harden my heart so that I won't feel hurt when people try to hurt me.
No longer feel angry, sad nor anguish.....
That kind of emotion numbness have transformed me into a person I couldn't  understand,
Slowly the cloud of depression and the fog of fear cover my vision.
Realized the devil strategy to destroy a person, is through separation of between, God , Self and others. One who is not able relate themselves with others , God and even themselves.

Thankfully God have delivered me from these Depression and Fears, HIS perfect love cast out all fears...
Thank you God, your faithfulness never end despite me walk away, you still will woo me back with your everlasting love.
( Continue.....)

This is ME

Hi, everyone I am Justin,

I love Music, Classical music, Have been playing piano since 9 years old,

Later get in touch with Violin in my 3rd year of College, subsequently Cello as well because their from the same string family.

It has been sometime I have started blogging since 2008.

It is a good way to express myself, It is a good way to improve my language.

Ever since then, I could express myself better in English.

This is a Random sharing, I found this old picture taken after Performance in College.

Then i decided to write something short about myself.

Feel Free to Comment and Ask me something or Have any suggestions,topics that I could  cover =)