Tunnel

Past 3 months, just trap into this hole of depression.
Desperately seeking the way out, but i couldn't, anxious heart weight a man down. 

Fear of futures grip my heart, lacks of security drives me around doing things that condition myself to feel safe. Fears over grips my heart and worries paralysed my mind, everyday seems to be mundane, all i hope is the struggle is over.

Well 4 month have passed, Freedom visited me, i went to Freedom Seminar at Kingdom City Church, during the worship service i felt the touch of God's love, his warm embrace envelope me, like the waves cover the shores.

As been set free from oppression, my heart felt the release but my mind still struggles with racing thoughts, i know God still haven't finnish with me. As many whys start appearing in my mind, i have started to doubts and the fears revisited me again.

It was Wednesday evening, after work i have dilemma of deciding whether to go for company's training or just return home. After consulting my mom i still not convince to make decision, my mind was having lot of what-if" .

A step of faith, 

I took a step of faith just pray and get myself moving to the training venue. While on the way to my company, my self consciousness begin to manifest, begin to project what may happens.  On the journey to my company i took a bus, while i was inside the bus, thinking to distract myself from the overwhelming sensation fear i have plug-on to some of my favourite Christian songs.

"I am no longer slave to fear, I am the child of God." This song moved my heart, God was speaking to me through this songs of deliverance. I wanna express my Thanks to you Father, thank you for delivering from all fears. 

Meditation of those songs have moved my heart, i have made a decision of never look back to the past and Move forward towards the goals he have put in my heart.

I am forever grateful, from that day till now my mind is constantly renew, and I am enjoying the fellowship of the holy spirit

Thought of the Month

I have been thinking,

I have been reflecting, 

I have been pondering, 

What God have done in my Life, People that I have impact in Campus.

Before this year 2011 end.

Remind me all the things He have done in my life and His Faithfulness keep me going.

There are times I wanna give up. At some point I have some thought of ending my life.

His Love hindered me from making the Huge mistake.

He told me that is grace is sufficient for me, His strength is made perfect in my weakness.(II Corinthians 12:9)

I told myself I am a waste of time, I don't worth your life, I don't worth your time, but you say other wise

I was trying to forge my destiny, I couldn't accept the brokenness and situations that I am in.

I remind myself that what you have done in my life.

I remind myself the moment where I poured out everything to you.

I remind myself a Savior that save me from the pit of Hell

I remind myself a Friend that always be there for me when everyone Neglects me.

I remind myself that I need not to protect myself , I have found a refuge in HIM alone.