Unhappy. Insomnia. Sleeplessness

Today I have just finish all my work, somehow finished sorting out my stuff and it is already 2am.

Just now I feel sleepy but after while sorting old files, saw some old profile reminded me Unhappy events in the past, back then I was innocent easily cheated and bullied.

How I wish back then I was smart full of wisdom and able to evade most of those attacks.
Unfortunately life don't work that way, we have to go through this experience, Life lesson then forever it will registered in my mind.

Realised, when one is unhappy it is hard to fell asleep ......
I don't know why, I do not wanna close my eyes just wanna stay awake keep my mind occupy with productive thoughts and keep my hand workings.

I need help,
Slowly I am into darkness...
Cloud of depression coming,
Suicidal thoughts ( yes, I have plenty of those but I delay It)
I have planned to Commit suicide at certain age, mayb around 35 years old, so I am young forever =)
After death then no need bother by those endless thoughts.
Not a bad idea, dying young.

XOXO
keep it secret over here.